We are made to live with others. This means that no
matter what, we have to get along with the rest of our kind, otherwise we
lose value of the design our Creator intended us to be. And losing such value could mean depriving ourselves
of the wonderful benefits healthy relationships bring.
Every relationship is meaningful. No matter how trivial it may seem, it still
has a meaning. In fact, Elizabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler in their book
Life Lessons articulated that there’s no such thing as an insignificant or
accidental relationship. According to
them every meeting, encounter or exchange, with everyone from a spouse to an
anonymous telephone operator, no matter how brief or profound, how positive,
neutral, or painful, is meaningful. And in the grand scheme of things,
according to them, every relationship is important for even the most trivial
encounter with a passing stranger can teach us great deal about ourselves. They stressed that every person we encounter
holds the possibility of sending us to happiness, to a loving place in the
mind, or to a place of struggle and unhappiness.
It is ideal to maintain a loving and a healthy
relationship. But the challenge of achieving
it is far more difficult than any other task because dealing with people of varying
personalities entails exceptional people skill. There is no relationship that
is not shaken by challenges. We, at one time in our lives, experienced a broken relationship. So how do we maintain a healthy relationship?
There are only two main culprits in destroying a
relationship: giving offense or getting offended. Without these two, relationships stand tall
vigorous and harmonious. But because we
are people of differing standards and principles, we are vulnerable to offenses,
giving or taking alike.
Luckily, Wayne Cordeiro, author of The Seven Rules of
Success have identified three ways to maintain a healthy relationship, whether
it is friendship, marriage, or family.
According to Wayne good relationships should begin with us. We should be the one to water and nourish the
relationship around us. He underscores
that when it comes to relationships, a crucial Rule of Success is : GO
FIRST!
Go First
in Diffusing Anger
The most common reaction or feeling when we offend or get
offended is for the other party or us to get angry. It is clear that the common denominator is
anger. Wayne Cordeiro pointed out that a
powerful life principle is accepting
blame to rebuild a broken relationship.
He added that who is truly at fault is not the issue and that for
healing to begin, anger had to be diffused.
According to him this principle moves us from the problem side of the
equation to the solution side and that taking the blame doesn’t mean one is
guilty but one initiates the diffusing of anger so that healing can begin. When we take responsibility to accept the
blame even if we are not at fault, we simmer down the fire of anger and we
start the best move of restoring the broken relationship.
Go
first in speaking words that Heal
By the time anger is diffused, we don’t expect instant healing
of the offense. This is where words play
a crucial role. Words according to Wayne
Cordeiro carry a great power to either kill or bring life and that words can
turn a healthy relationship sour or a soured relationship back to health. It is now our chance to speed up the healing
by infusing the shaky relationship with words that bring back life. Talk
nicely. Revive the wounded relationship
with kind and caring words sealed with genuine intention.
Go
First in doing Good
While the first two steps are already part of doing good,
this last step talks about overcoming evil by doing good. Wayne Cordeiro is serious when he underscored
that being silent or being neutral does not overcome evil; evil can only be reversed
by an action of goodness. It is repealed
by an act of kindness and annulled by unexpected gift-giving, according to him. The rule, as Cordeiro stressed, is to never
withhold and draw back but to continue giving gifts of encouragement. He added that a powerful Rule of Success is gift-giving
because it impedes the intrusion of evil, inhibits the erosion of life, and
initiates fruitfulness. He further articulated that the test of gift-giving is
not when things are going well but is best applied as a catalyst for healing
when things are not going well.
Relationships are made to last. Only if we choose
to. We may not rebuild what was broken instantaneously but we should in the right time
Choose to live with happiness. Choose to live free from unnecessary baggage
of resentment. Life is beautiful when you choose it to be so.
Six years suddenly happened like it was only yesterday. You might just be running around while i run
out of patience.
