The most difficult consequence of breaking up is letting go.
Not being able to let go because you still feel for a person is the hardest of all. But when you start to sense you are trapped in the cobwebs of false hopes, letting go is not anymore an option - it is the only sensible thing to do.
In a “break-up” situation where your partner is completely fallen out of love, refusing to move on and to face chances of falling in love again under the thought of never finding another person better than a former lover is perhaps one of the most stupid things you can do. You see, when you feed your thoughts the idea that no one is better than your ex and that someday you can rekindle the broken relationship, any opportunity of falling in love to a new one is denied of you. In other words, you are putting your love life in a “freeze-loving” stage thereby piling up your lost opportunities of finding someone better and denying yourself of a happy life. If this happens to you, sharpen your ears so you will hear the thumping of the spirit of letting go.
Letting go is not easy. That is given. The road is long and dreary. But there are shortcuts to it. Open-mindedness is one. When you open your mind to the reality that life has to continue after a blurry episode, you begin to shorten the journey. When you open your mind to the possibility that something better can take place, you start to narrow the gap between pain and healing. And sooner you will reach the cornerstone where new love stories are made.
But how do you know letting go is already at hand? When uttering the name of your ex doesn’t taste bitter to the tongue anymore, you know the journey is ending. When memories of the past become simply a page of a story written and read, you know the haunting is almost over. But be very careful with the way you stride the last steps of the journey. It is at this point where truth rears its ugly face - the truth that you have fooled yourself all through the way. Meaning you can always fool yourself while gliding the path to letting go. When you say you have moved on but vowed never to see that person again, you have fooled yourself along the way.
Letting go has nothing to do with forgetting the person you intend to let go. Letting go is embracing the whole of that person and acknowledging the lessons you both learned together. In other words, it is only when you are able to say “thank you for coming into my life and for the lessons I have learned along with you” with all honesty and gratefulness that you have truly reached the end of the journey.
I am sharing to you the poem I made when I found out my former partner decided to shut all connections he has with me. I respect that decision. And I have no resentment whatsoever except to conclude he has never reached the journey to letting go.
A Blissful Deliverance
You really think you have ended all
The face, the voice, the memories, the call
I tell you unless you embrace the whole of me you’ll never walk tall
Even if you go pretending released, you are still bound to fall.
And how is it that you suddenly hate everything of me?
How could you have forgotten your torment I have aided to flee?
Is it because of the cut I created when I started to see?
That life would be lovelier if, in the end, it is not you and me.
If you let go of me, let go with compassion and justice
Not with hate not with loathing but with goodness,
Let’s leave each other’s dream and grasp each other’s mess
Not with vengeance but with fondness, with peace none the less.
So forgive now and stop chasing this dreary run
And I promise to whisper to the wind when it crosses the sun
The words that will fill the song you have kept undone
And only then you will truly feel what it is to have blissfully forgone.
